Welcome Back

Hello Again!!!!

I started this blog in 2010, and since then I have have been unfaithful to it.  I have neglected it, and I have pushed it to the side for other interests.  So why am I back?

I've been pushing off writing this post, but it's been something that I need to do.  So here is an update on my life and the new direction of this blog.  I will keep it short, because well...that's the new direction of the blog!

So 371 days ago I had a car accident.  It was the scariest day of my life so far, but I escaped without a scratch.  My car was not so lucky.  However, not only did the impact of the car hitting a tree jolt me in that moment, but it completely rattled my life.

Prior to the wreck, I was excited about life's possibilities.  I was on a path where I was taking control of my destiny and working towards the goals that would make me happy.  After the loss of control of my car, I found that I had control of nothing.

Before the ordeal, I was managing my hypothyroidism.  My dosages had stopped increasing, and I was finally getting to a place where I was able to sleep peacefully at night, after years of undergraduate and graduate school all-nighters. After --my heart pounded at least a few hours a night.  I felt faint, weak, and jittery.  I'd stay awake scared of dying alone in my house. By morning, my body and mind were so tired, I walked around much of the day in a mental fog. Fortunately (or I suppose, unfortunately) I'm one of those people who is able to function --even in physical exhaustion.

I stopped doing and stepped back from a lot of things: traveling, singing in the choir, writing, drawing, and painting.  I was already pretty introverted, but I started distancing myself and spent most of time (when not at work) in the place that felt safest to me --my home.

I felt useless --like I wasn't making a difference to anyone anymore. I didn't even feel valuable to myself.  Every day just became more and more foggy in my mind.  My work didn't suffer --to my knowledge.  My sarcasm didn't cease.  My skin didn't show my issues.  It was all in my head...it is all in my head.

The wreck didn't necessarily trigger any of the things I've described...it did however force me to pause and deal with them. Now more than a year later, I'm learning and hopefully helping some of you who may be dealing with something similar.

So here we go!!!

I hope you enjoy.  I hope that you are helped.  I hope that you can help.

Affectionately Written, Love DRE